Dear Ignorant Assholes Of The World,

     It has come to my attention over the past few years, that one of the main reasons why the world seems to suck so much is because of you. Now, that may seem like a lot blame, but I'm confident that if you were to pull your head out of your ass, you would agree. If people could learn to be more tolerant towards others, then the world would be a much better place (and no, I don't mean more tolerant toward ignorance).
     First, to all those stuck in a time warp: this is not 1953! The Cold War is over (as is the Spanish inquisition), people (of ALL races, sexes, religions, sexual orientations, shapes, sizes, flavours, etc.) are equal, father does not know best, and the pretty things are not going to hell. So, please, get on the train or get off the tracks.
     To parents: stop teaching your children ignorance! I've seen many incredibly bright individuals turn into intolerant/bigoted/racist/closed minded people, simply because of what they're taught at home by their moronic parents.
     Third, and this is the big one folks…if you don't stop anything else, at least stop using the words 'Jewish' and 'gay' (or any variations thereof) as insults. Though I consider myself a pacifist, there are people that I am about ready to beat to death with a shovel because of this. Whether people mean it or not, they're just spreading homophobic and anti-semetic attitudes, as well as the message that discrimination is ok. Please find a different word.
     If the world is to survive, then people need to become at least somewhat concerned about what is happening to the environment. Even if you're incredibly lazy, a little effort is better than nothing.
     This may seem fairly unfocussed; that is, I suppose, because it's such a broad topic. I hope, however, that it is understood well. These things may sound very arrogant/bigheaded/preachy, etc., but they really shouldn't be too much to ask. Wars have been fought, hundreds of millions have died as the result of mass genocide, and people are forced to live very miserable lives, all because of some very ignorant people.
     At this point, I suppose I should offer some notes of hope/encouragement, but as my confidence that the human race has the ability to evolve continues to wither, it seems rather pointless to offer constructive methods of solving these problems. Instead, I offer the following: if you feel the need to spread messages of hate or even just ignorance in general, then try holding your breath and counting backwards from 500. If the urge is still too overpowering for you, then it may serve well to have your vocal cords removed. Please ask your physician about this procedure immediately, or do it yourself for immediate results. If even this is not enough, then I suggest that you try to get some rest. Buy a pair of earplugs and fall asleep on a set of train tracks somewhere. I guarantee that when you awake, you will feel like a new person.  

Sincerely,

     Travis Wall